Algebra 1...

 

Image source: Reddit

© July 25, 2022, the Griot Poet

 

Derrick, a comic last weekend at Spoken and Heard,

It inspired me to try my hand at poetic comedy,

Derrick reminded me of my embarrassing entry into puberty,

And trying mightily to impress

Teresa Olivia Brown

In Algebra 1 class.

 

She was the closest thing to beautiful I had experienced at that time.

I was fourteen years old and entering the biology of puberty,

She was caramel, quiet, and sweet.

She also had an 18-year-old boyfriend, Larry, whom I was determined to beat.

Being a mature man,

Other than a car, Larry’s voice, on occasion like mine, didn’t squeak.

 

I had no car,

I had no baritone speech,

I had no athlete frame to speak of,

I had no gangster Mack,

She wasn’t impressed with that,

Larry, if he had one virtue,

He opened his car door for her,

Cupped her hand in the bend of his arm,

Bought her gifts and took her out to restaurants, and treated Teresa like a Queen.

 

I had a simple gift:

I wrote poetry,

About the meaning of her name:

Teresa: a Spanish variant of Theresa,

Derived from the Ancient Greek theros, meaning “summer.”

Fitting for a summer baby

Caramel, quiet, and sweet,

Born one month before me,

 

As she was reading my written literary teenage masterpiece,

 

Mr. Martin, my Algebra teacher, asked:

 

“Reggie, would you please go to the board and solve the Algebra problem in front of the class?”

 

I thought to myself,

“I would love to, Mr. Martin,

But because I was concentrating on courting,

I have biologically generated a woody in my blue jeans.”

 

I tried to get my homeboy, Ve Pauling, to sub,

And he said, “don’t look at me!”

Well, that was a flub.

 

So,

I soldiered to the chalkboard

With my left hand projected forward,

To hopefully disguise the woody in my blue jeans!

 

Algebra is from the Arabic words “Al-Jabr,”

In a treatise written in Baghdad,

By scholar Muhammad al-Khwarizmi

When it was then the height of intellectual inquiry, universities, and commerce,

Al-Jabr translated: the act of completion.

Which I did,

I solved the algebra problem.

 

As I was going to my seat,

Mr. Martin held up his hand and said to me:

 

“Reggie, please take your hand out of your pocket.”

 

I obliged.

 

I put my right hand in my right pocket,

Projecting it forward as I removed my left,

 

As I stepped forward again,

Mr. Martin,

Was beet red with delight and amusement,

 

“Reggie, take both hands out of both pockets, please!”

 

At which point, I saluted the math class as I returned to my seat.

 

The biological jig was up!

 

The uproar was tremendous,

The embarrassment was stupendous,

Teresa had her head down to hide her tears and laughter.

I was mortified and embarrassed into silence.

 

The next days forward,

I didn’t look in Teresa’s direction.

I didn’t talk to her in the hallways.

I dissociated from the painful experience.

But she had read my poetry about her name,

And passed a note back to me

Through Ve Pauling:

(This method is how kids did it before texting)

“Oh my God! I’m flattered and impressed!”

 

I slowly began to speak with her again,

Apologizing profusely,

For Teresa, it wasn’t necessary,

She was the first woman to say to me:

“Can we be friends?”

And I did not take it as a defeat or personally.

 

I never got her to quit Larry,

She did that when she found out she wasn’t his only.

She eventually met and married a guy named Chauncey Brown (coincidentally),

But Teresa showed me the value

By not objectifying women,

And we’ve been friends ever since.

But I think it explains,

Since that embarrassing incident,

My rapt attention when taking notes in any physics, engineering, science, or math class!

 

Mr. Martin: Rest In Peace.